


forest for the trees

by Lake (beyond_belief)



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Generation Kill Week, Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, solar eclipse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-23 19:32:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11996508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyond_belief/pseuds/Lake
Summary: "It began with no ado. It was odd that such a well advertised public event should have no starting gun, no overture, no introductory speaker. I should have known right then that I was out of my depth." - Annie Dillard, "Total Eclipse"





	forest for the trees

_Why wouldn't certain ghosts live at the bottoms of lakes and express themselves through the voice of a loon?_  
\- Jim Harrison, "The Man Who Gave Up His Name"

  


Brad arrived home on Friday to find Ray lounging on the sofa wearing a cheerleader's uniform, dark blue with white edges and sharp pleats to the skirt. "Really?" he asked, hanging up his keys on the hook.

"The world is ending, I'm wearing what I want," Ray replied. He was also wearing white ankle socks and Brad couldn't decide if they worked with the look or took away from it.

"The world isn't ending. You need to stop reading those blogs."

Ray gave him a deeply unimpressed look and stood up. The skirt was very short. "I'm going to a party," he said, in a normal _I'm-not-fucking-with-you-anymore_ voice. "Don't wait up."

"Aren't you too old for dress-up parties," Brad said dryly as Ray jammed his feet into some beat-up sneakers. "Also, those shoes kind of ruin the effect."

Ray shrugged and grabbed his wallet and keys from the bowl before leaving. Brad left his boots by the door and changed out of his BDUs, then thought about turning on the news before deciding against it, just for tonight.

Poke called while Brad was eating a sandwich. "What's all this about the eclipse on Person's facebook page?"

"I don't go on Facebook," Brad replied, "but if you were asking me to make an educated guess, I would say it's some conspiracy theory bullshit he found somewhere."

Poke made a sound like he was considering this. "You gonna watch it, man?"

"What, the eclipse? Probably not."

"You're such a buzzkill, Brad. This shit is rare."

"It's not fucking rare," Brad replied, putting his plate in the dishwasher even though it had barely a few crumbs. "There's one every eighteen months, give or take."

Poke made a sound like he was now disgusted with Brad's entire wealth of astronomical knowledge. "Whatever, it's not like we get to see it every time."

"Well, have fun watching," Brad said, and Poke made another disgusted noise and hung up on him. Brad thought about looking at whatever conspiracy shit it was that Ray had put up on the internet, but decided against it, and got a beer from the fridge instead to take out into the garage with him. For a while he lost himself in the small parts of the antique motorcycle engine he was rebuilding, although he was still missing some parts for the body of the bike. This project was more about assembling the puzzle pieces correctly, and less about whether or not the bike could be ridden comfortably when he was done. It was slow, methodical work, and for several hours Brad didn't think about the eclipse or Ray in that white-edged skirt.

When the clock ticked over to ten, he scrubbed his hands clean with Orange Goo at the kitchen sink, then went up to bed. He left the outside light on for Ray.

  


Saturday dawned clear in such a way that Brad knew the temperature would reach nearly intolerable levels by noon, so he did not make his usual bike ride sandwich of turkey with mayonnaise, but grudgingly spread almond butter over bread instead, then packed it in his bag. Sprewell Bluff would likely be sparse today, if the thermometer continued to climb, and he felt like wandering.

Traffic on the highway was light, but it was early enough when he started, and the sky was so pale it could barely be called blue. Once he reached Woodland he dawdled on the back roads for a while, slowing his pace on the places that dirt was tracked so far over the asphalt that the road might as well be considered unpaved again. On one of them, the trees grew close and tall enough that the sun was muted, and the air felt cooler against the rare places his skin was exposed. Brad could smell the vegetation, thick and green and sometimes rotten. Occasionally, the birds called loud enough to be heard over the rumble of the engine.

Brad parked the bike in the visitor lot and locked his riding jacket in the small storage compartment. Then he hiked along the river for several hours, until the air began to grow shimmery with the heat. There were some families out kayaking, and some people fishing, but the river wasn't crowded and he found it easy to slip through the woods without encountering another human being.

He saw what might have been a wolf at one point, while he paused to check his direction. He locked eyes with it for a brief moment, until the animal growled like it had never expected to come upon a human in these woods, then turned and disappeared in a flash of white fur. Hours later, Brad questioned if maybe he'd only imagined it.

  


It was supposed to rain on Sunday, the day of the eclipse, and Ray looked out the window with a frown on his face and asked, in his _don't actually answer this, Brad_ voice, if they would still be able to see it. Today he was wearing sweatpants and a baseball jersey, and Brad wondered what he'd done with the cheerleader outfit. "I guess it might still clear up," Ray said.

Brad looked at the forecast again on his phone, which said the rain would last until late afternoon, and replied, "It might."

"You're just trying to fucking placate me," Ray accused. Brad only grinned. "I can't believe I married you."

"You only married me for the health insurance," Brad said with a loose shrug, then leaned over to kiss Ray's forehead while Ray made outraged faces. "How was your costume party, by the way?"

"Well, I didn't get drunk, and I didn't get laid, so it was a bust on two fronts and now I have a cheerleader uniform that will probably just sit in the hamper for the next six years."

Brad thought about saying _I could do that for you_ but instead kept his face as neutral as possible while he said, "You can wear it around the house."

"Don't joke, homes." Ray poked him hard in the chest a few times, then looked out the window again. "It's totally going to fucking rain all day."

"You're not supposed to look at the sun directly anyway, Ray. And it's not like rain means the eclipse won't happen."

"Yeah, but it won't be as cool."

Brad should probably find something to do besides listen to Ray complain about the weather and watch him look out the window every six seconds, but he didn't really have anything else to do that didn't involve also going outside, so he stayed in the kitchen and emptied the dishwasher. At ten minutes past ten, Ray crowded him onto the back stoop, which was covered slightly by a small awning. The sky darkened into a color Brad had never seen before then resolved itself into navy blue. The leaves of all the plants and every blade of grass turned silver-grey, and it was like green had never been invented by the universe. The wind picked up; Brad's t-shirt was plastered to his body with a gust of rain.

They pulled heavy welder's goggles that Ray had borrowed over their eyes so that they could look at the sun, but in the sky there was still nothing to see, although the temperature felt like it had plunged. The shadow of the eclipse drew up and over them. The world went dark and strange for several minutes, silent except for the odd howl of wind. Ray was also soaked and in the absence of color he looked like something out of an old movie. "Well, this is fucking weird," he shouted in Brad's ear, and his face seemed to move weirdly now that his skin was silver.

Brad looked down at his hands. They were silver as well. And then they were pearl white, and then the world began to lighten again, back to the colors it had been before, colors Brad could name.

"Huh," was Ray's only comment. He squeezed Brad's arm.

They went back inside and Ray got them both towels for their soaking wet heads, and they dried off in the kitchen. Brad felt like he should say something but he didn't know what.

  


They had gotten married while Ray was in school, three years ago now, and part of Brad always expected Ray to announce that he was leaving once he graduated. But he'd gotten a job in town and never said a word. Brad decided he wasn't going to broach the topic. Ray did his own things, and Brad did his, and they coexisted in the house without much conflict. Ray brought a few people home, but it was rare, and Brad was fairly sure Ray noticed that he'd never brought anyone home.

After the eclipse Ray went into his room, and after a few minutes Brad heard the sound of his television. He thought about going for a ride despite the weather, but slick pavement sounded like a bad idea, and he didn't feel like getting soaked again. He changed into dry clothes, then went into the garage to work on the old bike for a few hours.

He was so focused on the gearbox that he didn't hear Ray open the door, and jumped when Ray's hand landed on his shoulder. "Sorry, what?" he asked, pushing his safety glasses up.

"Are you really going to ride it?" Ray asked. He ran a hand lightly over the chrome panel that sat on Brad's workbench.

Brad made an attempt to wipe his fingers off with a rag. "If I ever finish it. I'm still missing a few replacement parts. One of the guys at the base has a buddy that's keeping an eye out for me, but it all depends."

"On what?"

"On what people sell, or junk, and what I end up having to get custom engineered." The corner of Ray's mouth twitched. "What?"

"Only you would do all this, with no guarantee that it'll ever run."

Brad looked down at the parts lined up carefully on his workspace, some with labels so he wouldn't get them mixed up, and the old manual he'd paid through the nose for on eBay. "I like doing it."

Ray smiled outright at that, and slid his arm around Brad's shoulders. "There are worse fucking hobbies, for sure," he said after a moment. "You gonna hole up out here all day, though? We could get something unhealthy for dinner."

Ray still smelled like the rainstorm, even hours later. Brad didn't have any other plans. "Sure. Let me scrub the grease off."

  


He went to the park again the following weekend. In the woods he moved slowly and waited long moments in odd places, but he didn't see the wolf. Maybe he'd imagined it after all. There were more people on the river this time, bright conversations shouted back and forth between kayaks and canoes. He hiked up the bluff and looked out over the water, and wondered if this place had also looked alien in the eclipse.

Ray was sitting on the front step when he got home. Brad left his bike in the driveway. "Forget your keys?" he asked, tucking his helmet under one arm.

"Felt like waiting for you." It wasn't what Brad had expected him to say at all, and the surprise was quicker than his ability to control it. The power of speech deserted him. Ray stood up. "Let's go inside."

For an instant, Brad was convinced Ray was leaving, and started making a mental list of reasons Ray should stay. Most were things he might have to get drunk to say. But everything in the house looked the same and there were no bags packed by the door. The strain Brad felt in his shoulders drained nearly as fast as he recognized it was there, and he found he could move his tongue again. "You're not moving out?"

"That's the first thing you thought of? Brad, dude." Ray moved into his bubble, and Brad stepped backwards, confused. This continued until he hit the couch and had to sit down. Ray looked satisfied at this. "You thought I was moving out. And here after all this time I thought I knew how that weirdo brain of yours worked."

"Guess you better spell it out for me."

"You fucking dumbass," Ray said, and straddled Brad's thighs. The world seemed to contract down to the cushions behind Brad's back and Ray's weight holding him there. Ray was heavier than he looked. His t-shirt was soft under Brad's palms, worn through countless washes, what might have been a Nike logo faded long ago. But his face was the same face Brad had seen every day for the last five years. Today, there was an eyelash on his cheek.

Brad reached up to brush it away. "Is this what you meant about the world ending?"

"More like beginning," Ray replied, and pinched Brad's side with warm fingers. Then Ray leaned in, smiling, and Brad felt as though his heart had moved up into the sky, lining up in front of the sun to make the world strange again.

**Author's Note:**

> For GK Week Day Four - I suppose this covers both "uniform" and the pretend dating/marriage prompts in a way. With apologies to both Jim Harrison and Annie Dillard (I know she's famous but tbh the "Total Eclipse" essay is all I can stand of her work and I laughed at myself when I needed to pull it up to write this).


End file.
